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Joke of the Day

"So a horse walks into a bar... The patrons of the bar then proceed to scream in surprise because there's A FREAKING HORSE IN THE BAR."

"I think this lady I'm stalking just found out. She changed her wifi name to: ""Hey you in the tree. I've called the cops."""

"Did you know: the average American spends 8,000 years of their life refilling Brita water pitchers."

"Boy: You are the most funniest and most beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: You just wanna f*ck me. Boy: Wow and smart to."

"I was gonna make a joke about sluts... ...but it would just be whoreable."

"I won't say I necessarily want to be in a relationship, but I will say its been hard to load a dishwasher with no feedback, whatsoever."

"What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage? The energy bill ..."

"How do you think bus driver interviews go? Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired!"

"I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding."

"Fighting dumb people with irony is like throwing stones at tanks. You can do that, but you achieve nothing from it."