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Joke of the Day
"My wife said I never do anything for her so I packed her bags and put them outside."
Next Joke
"[Dirty] Did you know pigeons die after they have sex? At least, the one I fucked did."
"""Sir your resume says you can read minds."" ""Yup. And you're thinking 'Why would he put that on a resume?'"" ""Oh. My. God. You're hired."""
"I thinks it cool when X girlfriend becomes XL girldfriend."
"As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil 3 times a day in order to survive. Lucky my older brother told me about it"
"Wife said I should talk to the kids about drugs so I told them how faking a back injury would usually get you some Vicodin."
"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss!"
"I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself."
"Five swedish men in a pool The swedes were swimming and suddenly a condom popped to the surface of the water. Directly one of the mans asks: ""who farted?"""
"If the meal between breakfast and lunch is called brunch and the meal between lunch and dinner is called linner, what's the meal between breakfast and dinner called? Lunch"