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Joke of the Day

"""Sir your resume says you can read minds."" ""Yup. And you're thinking 'Why would he put that on a resume?'"" ""Oh. My. God. You're hired."""

Next Joke
 
"What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!"
"I like my women like I like my coffee... microwaved for 69 seconds."
"""I don't know what else to say..."" Me, giving my husband false hope"
"What did 50cent say to his grandma when she gave him a knitted sweater for his birthday? G u knit!"
"[interview for an accounting job] Your resume says your greatest strength is using idioms. How can that help in this job? ""You do the math"""
"Everything electrical runs on smoke They don't work after you let the smoke out"
"Her: I like your facial hair Me: I like YOUR facial hair (FLIRTING IS HARD)"
"Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target? because it was being driven by a woman"
"What caused The Black Death? The police."