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Joke of the Day

"I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself."

"The word ""Caesar"" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other."

"Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye? Because she was seeing somebody on the side."

"One Wish If I was a governor the first thing I'd do, is make having a family garden an excessive tax write-off: and I'd have the most beautiful state ever."

"Religion is like a penis Its okay to have one... But problems arise when to you force it down someones throats."

"Don't ever talk to me in an elevator. It will just be uncomfortable. I don't want to be put in that position. With my hand over your mouth."

"I don't see why being an astronaut is so hard, school teachers do it. Get in the rocket, rocket goes up, rocket blows up. I could do that."

"Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom."

"Knock knock (Your turn)"

"Any room can be a panic room if she tells you ""we need to talk"""