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Joke of the Day

"What does the fan of a shitty rock band, which canceled a gig in his city, say? ""I want my Nickel back!"""

"Take my advice I'm not using it."

"If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic."

"Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower? Because they're the largest re-tail-er"

"What do you call a Mexican that's in the rebellion? A Rogue Juan"

"My sex life lately has been like very fine jewelry 100% handmade"

"Dad cooks deer for dinner and doesn't tell the kids what it is... He gives them a hint ""It's what your mom calls me"" The kids respond ""It's a fucking dick, don't eat it"""

"When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words... Cool Runnings."

"my chemistry always told me ""if you're not part of the solution..... then you're part of the precipitate"""

"*tips fedora at mosquito* M'laria"