45469

Joke of the Day

"When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words... Cool Runnings."

"I know a few people who are the human version of an email missing the attachment."

"Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it ""White People"""

"Why is it that when Dick Cheney shot someone in the face, nothing happened, but when Clinton did it he was impeached?"

"I have no sense of decency. That way all my other senses are enhanced..."

"[guy jokingly refers to america as 'murica, everyone starts applauding; I basically hork up a damn lung from laughing my shit off so hard]"

"Why did the criminal hide in the roof? It was very Con-Ceiling."

"I visited my doctor last week, and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why, surely it's not dangerous. He said it was distracting him."

"Down with the metric system No more foreign rulers!"

"*pulls motorist over* COP: Are you high? MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree? *one leaf silently falls from cop*"