86726

Joke of the Day

"Fortunately I've never been brainwashed, so my mind gets dirtier each day."

"Boss ""I'm looking for a volunteer."" Me *chops off own legs ""I can't!"" Co-worker ""I'm busy, sorry."" Me ""damn, that's a better excuse."""

"What is a drug addict's favorite series? Really anything with a strong Heroine"

"I have a tree joke you might like to hear but most of us would be Sycamore. (tree jokes need to be spruced up in my opinion)"

"What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really!"

"I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer."

"I have just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way."

"What do crossfitters call their trainers? Fairy WOD-mothers."

"Woman is at a maternity hospital in a lot of pain. Her husband strokes her back and says, ""I'm sorry sweety, you have to go through this"" She says, ""Don't worry. It's not your fault."""

"yeah i got a gym membership. its called life. watch me lift this big ass rock. now im gonna do 20 reps of pretending im a beautiful bird"