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Joke of the Day

"New study shows you can get HIV/AIDS from toilet seats in public restrooms By sitting down before the other guy gets up"

"People that say ""God never gives you more than you can handle"" never met my ex-girlfriend."

"How do you know humans can't reincarnate as insects? You've ever gotten one bug bite not on your crotch (or tits)."

"I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established."

"What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle? You're about to meet da-feet!"

"What's the difference between Obama and Osama? O(b-s)ma^2"

"NSFW:Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."" Originally from r/meanjokes"

"If you woke up naked in the woods with a condom up your ass would you tell anyone? No?.. Wanna go camping?"

"One of my friends maintains that tomorrow doesn't come until you've have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. He also maintains that it's September 7th, 1998."

"Ever hear the joke about the insecure comedian? ...it's okay, you probably wouldn't have liked it, anyway."