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Joke of the Day

"Wait, I forget, what's the national pastime? Is it baseball or worrying about Jennifer Aniston's happiness?"

"I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for someone who can't even see."

"I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers. I nearly fell out of my tree."

"And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up."

"First dirty joke my dad told me, it's about 30 years old and I still tell it. What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub? The lady in church has hope in her soul."

"What's black and found at the top of a stair case? Stephen Hawking after a house fire."

"Dude... I was there, don't try to change the story."

"I have a step-stool and never met my real stool"

"I made an late-night appointment with my escort But she informed me she is only working normal orifice-hours these days."

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman decided to have a BBQ. The Englishmen brought some meat, the Irishman brought some whiskey and the Scotsman brought some dude from Aberdeen."