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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for someone who can't even see."

"Bad grammar makes me [sic]"

"Snail 1: Are you male or female? Snail 2: Yes Snail 1: Me too! [they kiss passionately]"

"why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover? His girlfriend had a yeast infection"

"A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How'd he do it? The horses name was Friday."

"""As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are "" I haven't started either"""

"""Wanna see videos from my vacation?"" *shows home video of me eating a raccoon under a bridge ""This is the wrong video"" ""No this is right"""

"Irony. The opposite of wrinkly. Thank you. I'll be here all night."

"Ever see the movie human centipede? That movie sucks ass."

"I was going to make a joke about testicles But I better not. It seems to make people teste."