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Joke of the Day

"Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address."

"Is ""blowjob"" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards."

"me: *dies* mom: no get up you still have to go to school."

"Roses are gray, violets are gray, tulips are gray Im a dog."

"What's it called when Jesus walks across the street? A cross walk"

"Reddit, what good thing got ruined? Reddit."

"Met this Muslim chick at the bar and she told me to add her as a friend on Eyebook."

"Knock Knock. *Who's There?* A Kid! *A Kid Who?* A kid who cant reach the doorbell."

"What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model."

"I've stopped dating this girl I met at the Diabetes Camp. Turns out she isn't really my type."