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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... ...in two enormous cups."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese. Here all night folks."

"Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class? He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution."

"1)sit in toddler seat of a shopping cart. 2)tip over til feet touch the ground. 3)stand up. you're now a grocery turtle. no one can stop you"

"What is the best stand-up routine of our time? I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared."

"What is the difference between a Gynecologist and a Urologist ? The smell of their fingers."

"A pastor says to his congregation that being good is easy when you're a pastor, Because he gets paid to be good, but the people of his congregation are good for nothing."

"[Amazing Comeback] So I was reading comments on a LGBT friendly add(Android's #AndProud) > I hate fucking gays >> Stop having sex with gays then."

"I was in the park wondering why a frisby looks bigger the closer it gets And then it hit me."