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Joke of the Day

"How did Hitler react to the fall of Berlin? He did Nazi-it coming."

"What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke? Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea"

"What do call a bad haircut you got from a Native American? A-patchy scalping Edit: Changed haircut to scalping. Because that's what I came up with this morning."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with dysentery? One of them shucks between fits."

"Him: What gets you hot, baby? Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*"

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve vegetables!"" The mushroom responds, ""But I'm a fungi!!"""

"I wonder how many illegitimate socks are out there because of me?"

"Saw that Poland just won the country's first gold metal.... they were so happy, they had it bronzed!"

"What is a pirate's favorite element? Argon"

"Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister. believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower."