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Joke of the Day

"Him: What gets you hot, baby? Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*"

"How do you frighten a Bee? Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!"

"Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off."

"What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile? IDK, i'm just a banana."

"Old age homes suck people are dying to get out of there."

"My relationship status: Waiting for a miracle."

"I'm starting an A Capella group with five other ill tempered pedophiles. We're called Six Dicks in A Minor."

"If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right."

"The same woman who said ""I'm your mom not your friend"" has sent me 17 Facebook friend requests."

"Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family."