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Joke of the Day

"*at hostage negotiation class Prof: Let's go around and say why we're here Man: I joined the NYPD Woman: I'm in the FBI Me: I have a toddler"

"I had to break up with my Chinese girlfriend... An hour after eating her, I was horny again."

"I asked my girlfriend at dinner, ""Why are you being so salty?"" Her response - with a flat, even look: ""I've been well seasoned."" I lost it"

"I was going to tell a joke about the earth... Then I realized it was pretty terrable."

"16 Sodium atoms walked into a bar followed by Batman"

"How is the Quran like weed? Burning that shit will get you stoned."

"Pay attention to funeral dress codes Sombre is only a couple of letters away from Sombrero"

"Whats small,green and smells like pork ? Kermit the frogs dick !"

"Iguana... tap it, but I have a reptile dysfunction."

"I believe I can flyyy. I believe I can touch the skyyy. I believe I was mistaaaken. I believe I'm faaalling. I believe I'm gonna diiiie."