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Joke of the Day

"Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs."

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear."

"I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said ""4G."" My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk."

"A cow stumbled upon a marijuana field about to get harvested. It quickly turned into a high steak situation. haha?"

"Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor? His resurrection lasted more than four hours."

"Why did the blonde call an exterminator? Her computer had a bug..."

"Who were the world's fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 2 minutes."

"I was talking to some insects about my feet. I think they're pretty big, but mosquitos think they're bite-sized."

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town"