86416

Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of people People who can count People who can't count People who are there for no particular reason"

"Lady next to me in the hospital waiting room told me she has diarrhea. I must have one of those ""tell me if you have diarrhea"" faces."

"In my final years of education, I lost my virginity to my teacher I was home schooled"

"Why are there so many French orphans in the fruit isle of the grocery store? Because they are all looking for their pere"

"I was out of town and I asked for directions, but the guy just mooned me. I thought he was a bit cheeky."

"What us the difference between garbage and Jersey Girls? Garbage gets picked up."

"How do you project confidence? Multiply by the cosine of the angle."

"So I took a practice test on photons today... It didn't matter."

"I just typed ""relationship"" and it came up ""delusional"" on my phone. First time I realized my phone really is smart."

"I keep my friends close *lean in, whisper* and my anemones closer ""Sir thats very fun but aquarium policy forbids sitting in the touch tank"""