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Joke of the Day

"3 things that happened today 1. My friend says he hates reddit 2. My friend gets hit by a bus 3. I loose my bus driver license"

"Whats the difference between Peanut butter and Jam? You can't Peanut Butter a dick up your ass."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Moderate Islam. ....... That's strange. I could've sworn I heard a knock at the door."

"You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my ""wine glasses""."

"I don't even like sleep, it's just the only way I can eat spiders"

"Me: Do you want a burger or a hot dog? Her: Neither. I'm vegan. Me: Feel free to eat as much grass as you want."

"Since we're talking about Vampire jokes, here's my favorite. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month..."

"I went out clubbing in the village last night. People looked concerned when i came back covered in blood. I was more concerned about my club."

"What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? Utterly useless"

"I always envisioned Hermione as a burly, middle-aged Italian fellow, so imagine my surprise when the films revealed her to be a little girl."