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Joke of the Day

"3 things that happened today 1. My friend says he hates reddit 2. My friend gets hit by a bus 3. I loose my bus driver license"

"They don't even serve apples at Applebee's. Or bees."

"What do ISIS/ISIL members use to clean their dirty vaginas? ...me!"

"Now I know it's the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all... But aren't the Italians going a little far with their tribute"

"What was the philosopher's last thought before he descended into quicksand? I sink therefore I am."

"My blind friend and his birthday I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read."

"Why did the minus sign run for office? To make a difference."

"Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club? Black lights matter."

"When I lived on a houseboat I was seeing the girl next door, but eventually we drifted apart."

"- You are more attractive when you don't wear glasses -You too, when I don't wear glasses"