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Joke of the Day

"Moon: Yo, Earth! Constant revolution?! Why so angry? Earth: You just don't understand the gravity of the situation. Sun: Oooh... Burn!!!"

"My wife just accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."

"When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask ""who's in charge of tossing the salads here?"" Then I frown & order the soup."

"If sex with 3 people is a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Why did the seman cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today.."

"I changed my iPod's name to ""The Titanic"". It's synching."

"My wife accused me of fogging up our bathroom mirror But I really can't see myself doing that."

"A philosopher says to the linguist... ""What if, instead of periods, woman had apostrophes?"" The linguist replied, ""They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions."""

"Why can't you play UNO with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards."

"9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet 1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?"