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Joke of the Day

"What is the shortest, very funny joke you know? ITT: comments about my dink, and people who can't search"

"Do scarecrows really work? No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either."

"I just want to be rich enough where I snap my fingers and 7 people fight over who gets to make me my next grilled cheese."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times lets face it you're a jerk and I'm stupid"

"Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle? Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell."

"What's the difference between an M&M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt."

"How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware problem"

"I'm rubber, you're glue, we're both living a nightmarish existence as self-aware inanimate objects. Someone please kill us."

"[REPOST] How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him."

"I decided to get my girlfriend & her sister new jackets for Christmas That is why I bought a pair of new gloves."