93947

Joke of the Day

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times lets face it you're a jerk and I'm stupid"

"My wife is terrified of thunderstorms. The banging outside the window is horrendous, but if we let her in she'll just get the dog all wet."

"What's the difference between God and Trump? God doesn't think he's Donald Trump!"

"What's a mouse's least favorite record ? What's up Pussycat !"

"Why did Hitler kill himself? . . . . He saw his gas bill."

"I once dated a guy with premature ejaculation. I don't know why. I knew it wasn't going to last. In fact, I could see it coming."

"What do Mexicans use to slice pizza? Little Caesers"

"What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers."

"Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!"

"My wife is not buying that autocorrect changed ""You're psychic"" to ""You're psycho."""