93947

Joke of the Day

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times lets face it you're a jerk and I'm stupid"

"Best time to go to the dentist? tooth hurty"

"What do you call a five foot psychic that escapes from jail? A small medium at large."

"Not not mine but I thought I'd share Job interview - How many years of experience do you have? - 50 - Really? You are 40 years old - I had lots of overtime"

"Me: Strengths? I never vomit when I'm nervous. *vomits* HR guy: Umm...you sure about that? Me: Oh yeah, yeah. I'm just super drunk right now"

"The life of a penis is a sad one.... His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"patients always come to the office asking about measles And I tell them, ""no no no, i don't want to make this about measles. Let's talk about yousles"""

"Cheating at a limbo contest.... that's about as low as you can get!"

"Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental! "

"Do you know what happened in the bathroom? Me either, but I heard a lot of shit going down."