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Joke of the Day

"[REPOST] How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him."

"SCIENCE: If you have another person posing with you in your twitter avatar, 100% of the time you're the uglier one."

"If you hold your pee.. Then your hands would get wet."

"Q: Who burped at the big bad wolf? A: Little Rude Riding Hood!"

"Why did the crowd riot at the Nickelback concert? Because they didn't get their nickel back."

"My check engine light just turned on. I opened up the hood and the engine is still there. Thankfully everything is fine, but I was worried for a minute."

"[pet shop] ME: I'm looking for a dog that can talk OWNER: Try this one ME: [to dog] Can you talk? DOG: No ME: My search continues"

"When I was a kid I made friends with the wrong people. ""those aren't people, those are stray dogs"" my mom would say as she dressed my wounds"

"Psychic fair cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Yes, I read the Internet. But only for the articles."