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Joke of the Day

"Got pulled over tonight. Cop asked if I had any weapons. I showed him my guns. He laughed."

"Rape game Husband: Darling, let's play rape game Wife: No! Husband: Perfect start"

"What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to? Cantelope."

"What is a bigot? A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar bartender says...""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Jeff?"". budum pshhhh."

"What's the easiest way to kill a bison calf. Put it in the back of your SUV."

"It's that time of year again when I should really check in on my friends with pools or boats to see how they've been since last summer."

"Waiter: Is Pepsi ok? Pepsi: I'm fine."

"Are you going to the BBQ? The one where I out my meat on your grill!"

"In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair... 3 of the 5."