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Joke of the Day
"Two peanuts were walking down the street One of them was assaulted"
Next Joke
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change cuz I don't want to get up and find the remote."
"A man calls in sick... ""It's my eyes,"" he says. ""What's wrong with them?"" his boss asks. ""I just can't see myself coming to work today."""
"Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke."
"WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper ""You're an adult"" every few minutes."
"Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don't make enough money to have a drug habit."
"I got fired from the sewage plant And after all the shit I went through"
"You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up."
"Why is it so wet in Great Britain? Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) there."
"I don't always use complete sentences But when I do"