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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don't make enough money to have a drug habit."

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"My hard driving, asshole boss just quit the company, he announced he's moving to Taiwan! apparently he has a Taipei personality ... Sorry for the Taipo - /u/damn_wiston"

"The lesbians next door got my a rolex I think they were a bit confused when I said I wanna watch"

"What appears over black man's head when he has an idea? A fried Chicken leg"

"Why did Americans go to the moon? They heard Indians had land there."

"What's black and always behind bars? Guinness (You bunch of racists)"

"Apparently everyone was too high in the 70's when Grease came out to notice that every ""student"" at Rydell High looked like they were 35"

"A doctor goes to write a prescription... He reaches into his pocket to take out his pen, but finds a rectal thermometer instead. Annoyed, he complains, ""Some asshole stole my pen!"""

"What's so good about being Swiss? Well, the flag is a big plus."