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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing!"

Next Joke
 
"What's a cow's favourite love song? When I fall in love it will be for heifer."
"I once made a horse laugh and cry. (NSFW) I told the horse I had a bigger cock. He bursted out laughing. I showed him, he cried."
"[first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally."
"Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write ""tip jar"" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back."
"[NSFW] Who did the gay porn actor thank when he got an award? His penis for all the shit I went through and all his ass for all the dicks it dealt with."
"What do you call an obese psychic that works at a bank? A four chin teller"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its life is a joke."
"What did one ass cheek say to the other? We gotta hold this shit together."
"I used to be a big fan of Michael J Fox... ...but his latest performances have been a little shaky."