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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing!"

Next Joke
 
"Why are drums a fire hazard? Because they're flam-able. Ba-da Bum tsss."
"What do you call a black dinosaur? A Tyroneosaurus Rex."
"Why does the Easter Bunny go around hiding all those eggs? Because he doesn't want everyone to know that he's been fucking that chicken."
"Ben-Hur was actually called, Fast & The Furious: Jerusalem Drift, but the name didn't catch on like they had hoped"
"I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: ""I'm better than youbut not by much."""
"I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt"
"My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me."
"*cop pulls me over* Cop:Had a bit to drink tonight? Me:What makes you think I've been drinking? *cop leans over and turns off lawnmower*"
"How are Americans and poles similar? Running into one could really ruin your day."