135536

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an obese psychic that works at a bank? A four chin teller"

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] ""No, no his nose was a bit more avant-garde than that. His eyes suggested he'd lost a ladder."""

"Why did your mom tip the delivery boy? She wanted a pizza dat ass."

"What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toy-Yoda"

"After seeing some of the things posted on /r/Jokes lately, I believe it's time someone finally said something. Something."

"What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools"

"I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*"

"I really like some metamorphic rocks... They're the schist!"

"Sure glad I filled my iPod with shit that I hate."

"How does a mathematician get to work? He derives!"