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Joke of the Day

"I am Poliachi Man laughs, roll on snare drum"

"*Spoiler Alert* Siamese cats are just one cat, not two cats in one."

"Twitter's ""suggestions for you"" should include the basics, too, like ""get more sleep"" and ""have you responded to that email from your mom?"""

"How did hitler like his women? just like his swastikas. No curves"

"A husband and wife are getting married.... Minister: And now your wedding vows Groom: A E I O U Bride: Omg do u ever take anything seriously? Groom: sometimes....why?"

"Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am."

"Women are so desperate... 4 missed calls and 8 new text messages, CALM THE FUCK DOWN MOTHER!"

"Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back."

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"I heard that a few of the /r/Science mods also moderate /r/Jokes... [deleted]"