47444

Joke of the Day

"Women are so desperate... 4 missed calls and 8 new text messages, CALM THE FUCK DOWN MOTHER!"

"Wanna hear a good joke? My sex life! Excuse me while I cry now.."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice. (Sorry for old joke)"

"Genetically modified fruit never ceases to amaze me. Check out this unnaturally large melon. Ah, it's not a melon. It's a grape."

"A midget goes to the doctor and exclaims ""doctor! doctor! can you treat me??"" Doctor says: ""yes, you just have to be a little patient."""

"Why is Oklahoma the bleh state? Because it's just OK"

"Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves."

"How do you find the fastest man in Africa? Roll a penny down a hill."

"COWORKER: I'm my own biggest critic. ME: Haha, trust me. You aren't."

"I bought my friend a cat for their room. They said thank you I like cats. I said you're welcome me too. Cat said mewtwo."