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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between pizza and your opinion? I asked for pizza."

"USA: ""Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?"" Canada: ""OK."" *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*"

"How can you tell you are in a math teacher's garden? All the trees have square roots."

"Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove."

"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"

"I'm going to stop eating beef from Colorado The steaks are too high"

"Christians will make a big deal about a cross But do you think Jesus is attached to it?"

"Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten"

"What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal? Darth Vader."

"If ignorance is bliss there should be a lot more people with smiles on their faces."