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Joke of the Day

"I didn't want to believe that my Dad was being accused of stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there."

"[Alien monster is levelling Toronto] CANADAMAN: Excuse me, sir, SIR, could you stop please? SIR?"

"Who punishes Colorado underage smokers? COPD"

"I don't think I'd be as calm as Billy Joel was in that song if an old man was sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin."

"If Hillary brought a carpet bag to New York, what did Bill bring? Hard wood."

"Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers? They have short tales!"

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure,"" is an awesome phrase But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted."

"I'm interested to find out what the police have Oscar Pistorius's height listed as."

"Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!"

"Sunday is Easter, Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, and weed Christmas. Your move, greeting card section."