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Joke of the Day

"Trying to stop my mate to stop using TV remote It's a bit of a joke to piss my mate off. :D apologies if this is a wrong subreddit."

"Her legs spread so easy, I can't believe it's not butter."

"Why did Princess Diana Cross the Road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt!"

"You know what a Rhetorical Joke is?"

"Yelling ""PARKOUR"" whenever your toddler falls over is an easy way to make him look like a cool free runner rather than a clumsy little idiot"

"Hubs proposed to me with a really cool flash mob and a medley of Nirvana hits. JK. He was like, ""I wanna marry you."" And I was like, ""K."""

"Told my mom I was adopted. Totally April Fooled her ass."

"An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below. The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey."

"Did you hear about the lumberjack who worked overtime? He logged a lot of hours."

"Why did the worker get fired from the hp computer factory? He threw out all the computers with ""dy"" on them."