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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about those new corduroy pillowcases? I'm surprised if you haven't, they're making lots of headlines."

"How do you make seven even? Take the s off."

"Beauty is in the Eye of the: A) Holder B) Holder C) Holder D) Holder"

"Whenever you ride an elevator with other people, it's best not to mention your imaginary friends even if someone is standing on Carl."

"If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia."

"[unleashes dog at dog park] me: don't embarrass me now dog: i won't *sees pretty girl* me: hi, i'm dog: he drinks wine through a straw"

"Donald Trump Does this count as putting the punchline in the title?"

"Q: What do you call it when a cat stops? - A: A paws!"

"Nuts What do you call nuts on the wall? Wallnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chest nuts. Finally, what do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars"