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Joke of the Day

"""Dammit, I'm more than 15 minutes late for my three o'clock."" John 3:16."

"Most hookers don't give a fuck because it's much more profitable to sell a fuck."

"What's a rabbits' favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark."

"Pork shoulder meat, ham meat, salt, water, preservatives. Sorry, that was spam."

"What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him? Get off me Holmes!"

"honey, i think the milk's gone bad ""i only bought it yesterday"" yeah well, look at this.. *milk is running a meth lab in the fridge*"

"What is the difference between Rihanna and a coconut? One is black and hairy and the other is a coconut"

"Mountains aren't just funny...... .......the are hill areas!!"

"""Just do it!"" Why Nike reps don't man the suicide hotlines."

"Uber driver: ""I'm close, where are you?"" Me: ""oh I see you"" Uber Driver: ""Are you the guy in the middle of the road?"" Me: ""yeah floor it"""