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Joke of the Day

"I've been Nominated for Facebook's New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2013!.......In other news I lost my job, my wife, car, and all contact with the outside World!!!"

"Why did the muscle miss class? ...because it wasn't a-tendon!"

"Having friends is like... Having friends is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth!"

"Why did the punctuation mark have such an easy time going out with other punctuation marks? It was a comma dating."

"Who is the president of the trees? BarkOak Palma"

"I got asked how I view lesbian relationships.. Apparently HD wasn't the correct answer."

"I went to a club and they played ""The Twist"", I did the twist. They played ""Jump"", I jumped. They played ""Come on Eileen""...I got kicked out for that one."

"My farmer buddy is so lazy. Even when we go to the bar, he only picks the low hanging fruit."

"My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today... I asked if they were very sure of them cells."

"What type of drink do gay nazis hate? Juice"