8559

Joke of the Day

"What is gray and comes in pints? An elephant! edit: maybe I should say what is gray and cums in pints?"

"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I'm just a pilot so I always travel"

"I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name. I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night."

"every coat is a fur coat when your cat sleeps on it"

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Allergies."

"""Chivalry isn't dead,"" I say, watching one zombie hold the door open for another."

"I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there. I guess I came too soon."

"The ""oops, wrong hole"" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend."

"I like my coffee like I like my minorities... ... I don't."

"I use Reaganomics when I take a shower by only washing my hair, and letting the shampoo trickle down to clean the rest of me."