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Joke of the Day

"The grim reaper attends a funeral early in the day... as he gets there, he says, ""Good mourning, everyone"" Ill see myself out.."

"How did the dog make gold soup? He put in 24 carrots."

"So my buddy thought it'd be a good idea to get an inspirational tattoo on his forehead... Boy, was his face read."

"I've been eating a lot of pineapple lately, you know what that means... I have a pineapple flavored sock under my bed."

"What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out of it."

"A guy wakes up in the middle of the night. Goes to the toilet to take a piss, looks down and says: -You see, I get up when you need it."

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? Yep, he died in his tea pee."

"What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers? Is *anything* okay?!"

"I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox... and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"If they put a woman on the cover of th $20 bill... Would it change its value to $15.60?"