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Joke of the Day

"The grim reaper attends a funeral early in the day... as he gets there, he says, ""Good mourning, everyone"" Ill see myself out.."

"What did the bad rapper get for Christmas? J Coal"

"I just enlisted my kids into the Navy. Or as the wife calls it, masturbated in the shower."

"Why did the musician give his daughters the same name? So he could yell ""Anna 1, Anna 2!"""

"I appreciate it when someone tells me to just ""get over it"" when I'm depressed. It gives me a chance to exercise my grave digging skills."

"I hate tacos Said no Juan ever."

"Why was the belt locked up? Because it held a pair of pants."

"Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency than adults. How no one has developed an effective child-repellant yet is beyond me."

"Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Him**: What about the other one? **Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet."

"How do aliens pay for their coffees? With Starbucks!"