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Joke of the Day

"Why is golf better than sex? It lasts for hours and there's 18 different holes."

"Bad Gun! Bad Gun!....Shame on you for making criminals do those bad things!.......And then those Forks that are making me Fat!!!"

"I can't believe it's Christmas eve eve eve and they're making me work."

"*buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn"

"One old man was talking to another ""Hows your incontinence?"" ""Depends."""

"Jubilee is a mutant who can shoot sparks from her hands, and spontaneously destroy electronics by touching them... So she's basically like my mom, if my mom could shoot sparks from her hands."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because someone threw a fridge at her...."

"Ever met the human version of a headache?"

"What's the Cuban national anthem? Row, row, row your boat"

"A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. ""It wasn't my fault!"" credit to my awesome science teacher"