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Joke of the Day

"*buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn"

"""""When I die, I'd like you to lower the coffin into the grave... ... so you can let me down one last time."""

"Camper: There's something wrong with my hot dog. Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian."

"What comes after Brexit ? BREICH"

"""Beatles or Stones?"" I asked my son. ""Why can't we have something normal for dinner?"" He said"

"Q: How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed? A: Depressed."

"She blinded me with science! (Specifically, a botched LASIK surgery.)"

"Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth"

"What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"If a girl stabbed me on our first date, how many days should I wait to ask her out again?"