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Joke of the Day

"Bono heated and cooled his vodka over and over, filtering it to try and get the perfect taste... But distill hasn't found what he's looking for."

"I joined /r/NoFap Never thought it would be this hard..."

"I'm surprised the Pope didn't tweet from an Android, considering humanity and God's experience with apples."

"Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off? He's a whole two feet shorter."

"You know it's good sex when the neighbors call the police and a priest."

"I told my wife I was making venison for dinner.. She said ""oh, deer"""

"Why did the spider land on the keyboard? She wanted a new website."

"After months of practice, I can finally touch my toes. (By telling them that they are beautiful.)"

"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing. Oceans can't talk"

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink... However, you can certainly stand there until it gets thirsty."