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Joke of the Day

"A jem of a joke You"

"Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am currently sober."

"The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen's clubs."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you? A stick"

"What do fish talk about at work? Current events"

"What's al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets"

"[Gym] Hello ladies, and welcome to Body By Jake! Me: ""Jake?"" *i discreetly shove the cake I brought into my bag & back out of the room*"

"85% of Canadian moms need you to fix their computer this afternoon"

"If a giant talking rabbit were trying to steal my cereal, I'd probably be too busy screaming and stabbing to call him ""silly."""

"I'd attend church a lot more if, instead of a tiny cracker, the body of Christ was a tiny quesadilla."