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Joke of the Day

"I'd attend church a lot more if, instead of a tiny cracker, the body of Christ was a tiny quesadilla."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel in the front of his pants. The bartender asks ""isn't that bothering you?"" The pirate replies ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""

"Hillary Clinton very well just might be the first F president. I left out the emale because someone deleted them."

"What's the worst part about raping a deaf chick? You have to cut her fingers off so she can't tell anyone!"

"Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, ""Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"""

"I wonder what the parking situation is at the Special Olympics? ...."

"LPT: what to do when someone is having a seizure in a bathtub Throw in a load of laundry."

"Yo mama so fat She is overweighted"

"Police commissioner, do we have any leads in the Trump assassination case? It's too early to tell, but we have reason to believe the gun belonged to Gov. Jeb Bush"

"Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over? Him:... Me: Good answer"