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Joke of the Day

"[Gym] Hello ladies, and welcome to Body By Jake! Me: ""Jake?"" *i discreetly shove the cake I brought into my bag & back out of the room*"

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Why does a chicken coop have two doors ? Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"There's a name for people without beards Women"

"Death is like a chance to fuck in high school or college If you find out how it was close - you will be surprised."

"Why did the marine biologist jump off a bridge? He lost his porpoise in life."

"Sign at restaurant reads: Eat here diet home"

"I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. He dig. She dig. Now it's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep."

"What did the squirrel say when he looked up the woman's dress? What a Cunt, got no Nuts."

"why Ed doesn't have a girlfriend? Cause sheeran."