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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia? You get stoned."

"What does a desperate Mexican do? Bangs his head against the wall."

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"" and I thought.. .. ""That sounds like a fair trade"""

"Have you heard that joke about pussy? I would tell it, but I don't get it."

"My ring tone is a woman faintly screaming Help me, Superman. Help me!' and then I run away, unexplained."

"I think I'd be really good at pulling hay from a horse's mouth But I may just be clutching at straws here."

"Twitter provides the technology for my thoughts to be ignored by far more people than ever before."

"5yo: ""Dad we don't have a chimney. How will Santa get in?"" Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what? Me: what?"

"How does a French lady hold her liquor? By the ears"

"First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has."