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Joke of the Day

"Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship"

"You all know any good masturbation jokes? C'mon, I bet we can crank some out."

"There's only one thing I love more than bacon ...and I can't put pussy in my mashed potatoes."

"What's the best kind of bee? Boo-bees"

"(original) I just got my flu shot and tried to draw something, but it still looks shitty. I thought it was supposed to make me artistic?"

"Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins."

"Your Momma is so fat... ... when she wears a Malcolm X jacket helicopters try to land on her back."

"yeah i like going to the gym. if by gym you mean beer and Netflix. 20 billion RTs 1 trillion favs, rted by the official white house twitter"

"What is the hardest part of telling a good gay joke? Keeping a straight face"

"You know what's nuts? My balls!"