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Joke of the Day

"You all know any good masturbation jokes? C'mon, I bet we can crank some out."

"Several toilets were stolen last night. Police say they have nothing to go on."

"My thesaurus is awful. Not only that, it's also awful."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms...."

"Yesterday was National Girlfriend day and my girl friend really enjoyed it .. ... my wife .. not so much."

":# <--- emoticon for ""I'm eating a brillo pad"""

"Now that pinterest, instagram and netflix are down, I think I'm just going to spend the weekend learning the names of my children."

"Domestic violence jokes are in bad taste. They hit too close to home."

"What do you call an angry German? Sauerkraut."

"On Facebook, my friend became a fan of Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag and Nickelback. I became a fan of unfriending her."