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Joke of the Day

"My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep"

"I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*"

"I feel so bad when I see a woman wearing a shirt that says GAP on it. (OC) I want tell them, ""You're so much more than that!"""

"Why would you rather run into a bmw driver than a cactus? Because it's easier to deal with just one prick"

"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house."

"It's all fun and games until you notice the *rocket* in your nephew's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand."

"Why did the iguana get a prescription for viagra? For his reptile dysfunction."

"For a while Houdini used trap doors in every act It was a stage he was going through"

"What did the Monkey say when his bath was too hot? Ooh-Ooh-Aah- Aah"

"If you prefer a particular brand of bottled water, you should be sent away to a special camp."