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Joke of the Day

"Why did the iguana get a prescription for viagra? For his reptile dysfunction."

"What happens when you get a lot of electroshocks within a short period of time? It hertz."

"Asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding back and forth between the H and the A. It's been over an hour."

"I prefer to think in terms of ""good"" cholesterol and ""misunderstood"" cholesterol."

"Teacher to Student Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I am here. What sentence seemingly appropriate makes you burst into laughter?"

"What's the difference between an owl and a bungee cord? My ass"

"Why did it take so long for the postie to deliver the missing jigsaw piece? He had a bit of a puzzle in his hands"

"My kids in public are direct payback for every time I shriek'd PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN at my mom in the middle of a crowded mall as a kid."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns? They always take things literally."

"Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is"