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Joke of the Day

"I'm thrilled that you found Jesus. Where was he hiding?"

"When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun"

"How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent? Nun."

"Did you hear about the paperboy who used to masturbate on the job? No? Really? Weird, it was all over the news."

"Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone."

"Did you hear about the cannibal's fashion consultant She had excellent taste. BA DUM PSH"

"Dear student loan, Thank you for saving my life. I can't think of how I can ever repay you."

"How does every racist joke start? *Looks around the immediate area*"

"What did the hungry computer programmer say? All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble."

"To me, drink responsibly means don't f?cking spill it"