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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cannibal's fashion consultant She had excellent taste. BA DUM PSH"

"Replace Steven Tyler with a bear. Bearosmith. Billions and billions of $. I could do this all day, you guys. Hire me."

"The best curve on a girl is her smile... Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass."

"Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was ""what do they know that I don't?"""

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Rustle."

"Did you hear about the three-legged dog that never won an argument? He didn't have a leg to stand on."

"My wife agreed to a threesome with two girls. She was inexplicably livid when I told her she was neither."

"For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate."

"A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. ""Ha! That's not going to help,"" she said. ""Sure, it does,"" he said. ""It's the only way I can see the numbers."""

"Told to me by my 8 year old daughter: Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence. Awkward silence who? ... I see what you did there..."